Keep Your Dick Beaters Off My Coaster

Finally, a coaster that sets boundaries clearer than caution tape at a crime scene. Perfect for anyone tired of lending tools to friends who never return them—or return them worse off. Gift it to your favorite cranky craftsman or proudly display it in your own workspace to remind folks that borrowing your tools is a one-way ticket to your bad side. Sarcastic, blunt, and brutally honest—just like your mood when someone touches your stuff.

Note: Images shown are representative; actual coaster details may vary slightly, but the stern warning remains crystal clear.